Reality
has it that many people do not know how to behave in
nightclubs, especially guys. Problems at nightclubs are almost
inevitably caused by men. Armed with this idea, this
article is meant to
school you on some of the DO's and DON'T's of
this ever-thrilling pastime.
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The
Line and the Door
As
you approach the club, you may see a line.
If you are concerned about how long the wait is,
casually ask the bouncer. If there's a
coat-check, the line may simply last as long as
the coats can be hung and the admission fee
taken.
Wanna
get in faster? Arrive with women. Bouncers let the women
in first, which I have no problem with - after all you
don't want them to go elsewhere! |
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The
Boyz... ready for anything |
But! Bouncers on the
whole tend to be jerks and frequently ignore the men. In a
place like New York, some bouncers make you wait for 30-60
minutes during freezing cold winter Saturday nights.
To
be perfectly honest (as I always am...), NO club is worth
more than say, a 15 minute wait, especially if the bouncer
is clearly being a dick. The problem is that the
longer you wait, the more you get annoyed and might act
'foolishly' thereby decreasing your chances of getting in.
Just remember one thing: If you piss the bouncer off, you
won't be getting in anytime soon.
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...If
you piss the bouncer off, you won't be getting in
anytime soon...
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Don't
continually nag the bouncer about how much time you have
spent waiting. They don't care. They get paid to stand
there and look dumb and since they are going nowhere fast,
so will you be if you harass them. I saw someone working
at a club in Ibiza (Ibitha) who said that he didn't care
how much money was thrown his way - if the patron acted
like a jerk, they weren't getting in.
Tipping
may not be a city in China, but it will get you into a
club more quickly. I'd say a realistic rate is about
10$-$15 per person in your group. I know, I know, it
sounds like a lot. Well, you're right! Anyone can slip the
bouncer a few bucks, so it's up to you to pay more and
stand out, if you want to get in faster.
"Every
girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man" - ZZ Top
On
weekends, the more posh clubs have dress codes. Dress
accordingly! Never wear running shoes or jeans. You won't
get into a club if you're not dressed for it so don't
start hassling the bouncer or the management. Each club is
after its own distinct clientele so be ready for where
you're heading to party.
The
BrianX
clothing rule of thumb:
It is always better to be overdressed than underdressed
because if you're overdressed, you have a story as to why
you look good but if you are underdressed you simply look
socially inept.
The
Dancefloor
Dancing.
I love dancing. Most guys can't dance to save their lives.
I can and if it's one thing that pisses me off, it's
drunken beefcake meatheads who have no idea how to dance
and come in packs (like rats!), sometimes taking over the
main part of the dancefloor. To all you people, and you
know who you are, WATCH IT! There are other people trying
to enjoy themselves and they don't need you and your
miserable life to screw it up.
Watch
out for these same idiots who come to clubs just to start
fights. I've seen huge fights with many fists thrown,
shattered glasses on the floor, and blood flying
everywhere. Be watchful of these morons.
Here's
some more news you need: Constantly bumping into women on
the dancefloor is NOT gonna get them interested in you. It
will annoy them more than anything else. If you want to
get someone's attention while dancing, LEARN TO
DANCE! At least then you can dance to the rhythm they are
following. Don't bump and grind with women who are not
interested in doing so.
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...Constantly
bumping into women on the dancefloor is NOT gonna
get them interested in you...
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Another
approach is to make eye contact, reach out and shake their
hand while introducing yourself during a time when not a
lot of movement is going on. If you bother women too much,
they could complain and possibly get you thrown out.
If
you suck at dancing, by all means, continue to dance but
tone it down. You don't need to harass everyone else on
the floor just because YOU suck.
The
Bar
Don't
fight your way to the bar, order a drink and stay there. I
don't care how hot the barmaid is or how cool you think
you look leaning against the bar. There are other people
trying to get wasted and have just as good a time as you. Similarly,
take turns buying drinks for everyone so you don't crowd
the bar. Clubbing is for everyone, not just you and your
friends.
Barmaids
aren't working for nothing. They get about $6/hour and the
rest is made up of tips (up to several hundred $$ on
weekends). If they make you a drink, you may want to leave
a little more. In general, a dollar per drink is about
right.
Tip
for water? Yes! If they give you tap water, leave at least
50 cents. This will just about guarantee good service in
the future. Speaking of which... if you party at the same
clubs, always go to the same barmaids/bartenders. If you
are a good tipper and they recognize you, they'll give you
priority service on future visits.
The
Bottom Line
Remember
that there are other people out to have a good time while
partying. Don't be selfish, think with your OTHER brain
cell, and you should be fine.
It
is illegal to copy this article. If you like it, link to
it, don't steal it. Thank you.
This
article is an original article, first published in 1999 by
BrianX.com.
Theft
of this article will lead to legal action. Thieves
beware.
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